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An important step in becoming an effective flatterer is to understand why flattery helps you establish better relationships with others. The root cause of the power of flattery gets at a basic principle of human behavior: People crave being appreciated., The vast majority of people are of the similar idea despite different cultures. In Asian cultures the desire for group recognition is generally stronger than the desire for individual recognition. Nevertheless, the need for recognition is present.

Many people hold that the joy of work itself is more important than external recognition, including flattery. The joy of work may be a powerful motivator, but even those who get the biggest joy from their work--- such as scientists, artists, and photographers --- crave flattery and recognition. Otherwise they wouldn’t compete for Nobel Prizes or enter their work in important exhibitions.

Another reason flattery is so effective relates to the normal need to be recognized. Although some articles and books have been written and preached zealously about flattery, most people receive less recognition than they deserve. Many people hardly ever receive compliments either on the job or at home, thus intensifying their demand for flattery.

2. Flowers are among the most frequently given gifts. There’s a traditional floral language, and a carefully selected bouquet or plant can convey a wide range of emotions and sentiments. Red roses symbolize love as well as the hopeful beginning of a new enterprise; violets beseech the recipient not to forget the donor; orchids and other exquisite blooms indicate that the recipient regards you as exotic, precious and rare.

A floral gift that evokes warm recollections will be prized more than one that is simply showy and extravagant. A customer asked a florist to deliver a bouquet of a certain variety of rose—yellow tinged with red—to a hospital where her mother lay seriously ill. “They’ve been my mother’s favorite flowers since she carried them at her wedding many years ago,” she said. The florist found the flowers she wanted after a week of searching. The customer’s mother was delighted at the sight of the flowers.

In addition, a floral gift can also strengthen the emotional ties between husband and wife. A doctor, on his 57th birthday, received an ambitious floral gift. When he returned home from work, much to his joyful surprise, he found his front lawn turned into a rose garden containing 57 bushes. “It was a wonderful, self-renewing gift from my wife—a constant reminder of her.” he said.

5. Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded against in old age. One of these is undue absorption in the past. It does not do to live in memories, in regrets for the good old days, or in sadness about friends who are dead. One’s thoughts must be directed to the future, and to things about which there is something to be done. This is not always easy; one’s own past is a gradually increasing weight. It is easy to think to oneself that one’s emotions used to be more vivid than they are, and one’s mind more keen. If this is true it should be forgotten, and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true.

The other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth in the hope of sucking vigor from its vitality. When your children are grown up they want to live their own lives, and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young, you are likely to become a burden to them, unless they are unusually callous. This does not mean that one should be without interest in them, but one’s interest should be contemplative and, if possible, philanthropic, but not unduly emotional. Animals become indifferent to their young as soon as their young can look after

themselves, but human beings, owing to the length of infancy, find this difficult.

6. In China, a large number of parents spare no efforts to work for selecting a better school for their children, and even spend a large sum of money as long as their children can go to the key schools. The same case also occurs in Britain. Although there is no distinction between key public schools and non-key public schools, yet the quality of education in each school is of great difference. Therefore, the parents also leave no stones unturned in order to find a better school for their children. The degree of their anxieties is no less than that of Chinese parents.

The first step to get in a school is to fill in the application forms. Since these application forms are considered as very important materials to get access to a better school, some parents cheat by writing down wrong home addresses. Hence, every year in Britain finds hundreds of or thousands of such cheating events and the ways of cheating are increasingly “wiser”. For example, some fill in the relatives’ address or the office’s address instead, others write down the correct home address but with a wrong post code, because they know the school will calculate the distance between the school and home according to the post code. Moreover, some parents even go to Tax Bureau to pay tax for a place where they don’t stay at all, so that they could get the tax payment receipt and present it to the school as a proof of valid home address.