Dear diary:
Life...stress...desperation...pressure...why?
I can not predict my feelings. For one moment i am totally delightful and the other depressed as if come right out of the blues.
I feel like being torn apart, everything has it's edges, like myself. I am half side good and half side nasty. Like Hell is supposed to be seperated from Heaven, there's got to be some kind of borderline. Or where do girls like me go?
Sometimes i just want to be bad, but there's this voice calling for me\"Phoebe, you cant do this, you're good.\" But no one really knows me, not the whole of me. I'm not this Miss goody-goody people thought of me, I'm actully very wild and nasty.
About 10 days until the new term starts. I dont know how much i can take, or how long i am going to take. I'm sick of acting like someone i am not. I hate pretending to be a goody goody.
But life..is just a drama right? And we play parts in them, we pretend to be people we are acctrully not. If so, why do I feel so stressed? Too exhausted, prabably. Rest time, big-time.
Maybe I'm supposed to act like a Miss goody-goody. We can't actully choose our parts. They are just decided, long long ago, like destiny. No one can change destiny, right?
I guess i'll have to hide my nasty part, just save it, i might have to need it for my after life.
For that life is not something you define, it's something you feel, with all your heart.
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